UNHCR News Service

Breaking News Stories from UNHCR (United Nations Heiress Camp Refugees)

 Law Firms Reach Non-Competition Agreement
(UNHCR News Service) - It was announced this morning that the world's two largest law firms, the Noble Law Firm and the Sage Law Firm, both with offices in Lagos, Abidjan, Dakar and Accra, have reached an agreement to end cutthroat competition in the lucrative orphaned heiress market. The two firms specialize in the preparation of documents on behalf of beautiful young ladies in refugee camps whose fathers have left them millions of dollars that can only be retrieved by total strangers abroad. 

According to the agreement, the Noble Law firm will deal with all cases where the ladies' inheritance has been deposited in a secret bank account, while the Sage Law Firm will handle all cases where the money is secretly stashed in a trunk box. The Noble Law Firm already has several contacts at Barclays Bank that will aid the transactions, while the Sage Law Firm has ties with the Global Security Company, which is believed to be storing up to $419 million dollars in trunk boxes at its locations around Africa. 

In a joint statement issued on behalf of both law firms, spokesmugu Punda Bubu Bukakke said, "Our two firms can now focus on the important business of helping these young ladies get their money and find happiness with their new husbands abroad. Working together, we can ease the overcrowding in these refugee camps and make room for new arrivals. As long as rich African businessmen are being murdered by their brothers, we will be there to help their only daughters."

Punda Bubu are Swahili words


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